One day a long time ago, our family (Franciso, Lucia, Sergio & I) that lived in Glendale had a washing emergency. The dryer was broken. Franciso or Dad as I liked to call him, was a handy man and was calling around to find the necessary part for the dryer. Dad was waiting for this man to call him back with the price of this part. Dad was great at haggling over prices and could usually get the price of anything he felt was too much down by whatever amount he felt was needed.
At this time Dad, was also expecting a phone call from his primary care physician. He had been diagnosed with diabetes and was having issues controlling his blood sugar. He had had an appointment a day or two before the day of this incident.
Mom, Dad and I were sitting in the kitchen talking after our meal. Sergio was out. The phone rang and Mom went to pick it up. She told Dad it was the doctor's office calling him, but they were speaking in English. She told him he should ask for a Spanish speaking nurse to relay the Dr's message. Dad either ignored her (selective hearing, which I think he often suffered from) or he just did not hear her (during this time we thought he was going deaf too) and got to the phone.
As soon as he heard what the person on the other end said, he got upset and started to tell her, "No, it's too much money. No pay, no buy." He would get silent and listen to the caller then repeat what he said over and over again. At this point, Mom turned to me and said, "He did not hear me that it's the Dr's office. He thinks it is the man about the part." I laughed and Mom went over to Dad to tell him. He, like most of us do when on the phone, shook his hand at her to leave him alone.
So, there he was yelling about the price and Mom was yelling about the caller being his Dr's office. I joined in the yelling to assist Mom, but Dad ignored me too. It might have been because I could not stop laughing and was probably annoying him with my laughter.
After some time, Mom and I surmised the nurse on the other end went to get someone because Dad said something along the lines of: "Ay, se corto la lina." Then he began to holler, "Hello, Hello, hello" over and over again until someone returned. This time the nurse on the other end spoke Spanish. Dad was able to converse with her.
When he came back to the table, he was smiling and said, "The weirdest thing happened I was talking to the man about the part for the dryer then it switched over to my Dr's office without even ringing."
Mom and I exchanged a "yeah, right" look, but I was the only one bold enough to call him on the carpet. He was trying to save face with this one because I am sure he figured out what we were saying to him and why I was laughing. I told him I was on to him, but he ignored me and drank his coffee.
Showing posts with label Funny Stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny Stuff. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Children Embarrass Parents Pt 4
During a banquet in their ward, Vincent ran up to his dad and announced, "I have to make poo-poo!"
Children Embarrass Parents Pt 3
It's payback time for Celeste's mother. She is constantly embarrassing her.
*In the mall restroom she looked up and saw an elderly lady in there and said, "Look at that woman. She is a woman."
"Yes, she is." Then the lady asked what she was saying. I told her and she laughed and said, "Yes, I am a woman."
On the way out of the bathroom. Celeste looked back and asked, "What is that woman's name, Mommy?"
"I don't know. I don't know her."
"That woman was crazy!"
"Be quiet! We don't call people that word, and you need to stop using it."
*In church, she looked back and saw a lady from the ward. She asked, "Mommy, why did that lady do that to her hair? It looks crazy!"
"Be quiet, Celeste! We don't use that word. Her hair looks nice."
"Yes, it looks nice. It looks crazy and sweet."
"No talking in church!"
*On our way home from a church activity, she turns to a lady from the ward and says, "I want to go to your house. Will you take me to your house?"
"Sure. Come on!"
"Bye, Mommy."
"Oh, no you don't," says Mommy, "and stop inviting yourself to people's houses. We don't do that it's rude."
*The Lowry family had just went to a reunion and met some of Glenn's dad's first cousins. Celeste had fun there, but on the way out. She asked, "Can I keep this?" Whenever she goes to some one's house she either asks for their things or takes them.
*A family from the ward invited them over for dinner. As Celeste's mother was strapping her into her car seat she noticed a big lump in her jacket pocket. "What is this? A ball. Where did you get it? Did you take it? We don't take things that do not belong to us. It is stealing and that is choosing the wrong." As Mom was asking her these questions, Celeste just stared at her not answering but looked much like someone who is caught in the act of doing something wrong.
*In the mall restroom she looked up and saw an elderly lady in there and said, "Look at that woman. She is a woman."
"Yes, she is." Then the lady asked what she was saying. I told her and she laughed and said, "Yes, I am a woman."
On the way out of the bathroom. Celeste looked back and asked, "What is that woman's name, Mommy?"
"I don't know. I don't know her."
"That woman was crazy!"
"Be quiet! We don't call people that word, and you need to stop using it."
*In church, she looked back and saw a lady from the ward. She asked, "Mommy, why did that lady do that to her hair? It looks crazy!"
"Be quiet, Celeste! We don't use that word. Her hair looks nice."
"Yes, it looks nice. It looks crazy and sweet."
"No talking in church!"
*On our way home from a church activity, she turns to a lady from the ward and says, "I want to go to your house. Will you take me to your house?"
"Sure. Come on!"
"Bye, Mommy."
"Oh, no you don't," says Mommy, "and stop inviting yourself to people's houses. We don't do that it's rude."
*The Lowry family had just went to a reunion and met some of Glenn's dad's first cousins. Celeste had fun there, but on the way out. She asked, "Can I keep this?" Whenever she goes to some one's house she either asks for their things or takes them.
*A family from the ward invited them over for dinner. As Celeste's mother was strapping her into her car seat she noticed a big lump in her jacket pocket. "What is this? A ball. Where did you get it? Did you take it? We don't take things that do not belong to us. It is stealing and that is choosing the wrong." As Mom was asking her these questions, Celeste just stared at her not answering but looked much like someone who is caught in the act of doing something wrong.
Children Embarrass Parents Pt 2
One day at the Yuma church, the men's auxiliary (Varones) were singing. Lucy (Mia) was busy writing and looking down. Suddenly, she looked up and saw this man; then turned to her Mom and said, "Look, Bro. So-and-So looks just like a bear. How cute!"
"Be quiet!"
"But he does! Did you see him? Look at him. He looks just like a bear."
********
Years later, Lucia told this story of her daughter commenting how this man looked like a bear to her old family friends: The Briones. Carmen, their daughter, said that Lucy was right. Bro. So-and-So did look like a bear.
"Be quiet!"
"But he does! Did you see him? Look at him. He looks just like a bear."
********
Years later, Lucia told this story of her daughter commenting how this man looked like a bear to her old family friends: The Briones. Carmen, their daughter, said that Lucy was right. Bro. So-and-So did look like a bear.
Children Embarrass Their Parents Pt 1
Teenagers get embarrassed by their parents, but before this happens children can embarrass their parents. Here is a story how Lucia was embarrassed by her daughter Suzie.
One day in the Yuma Apostolic Church a lady with three sons came to visit the church. When Suzie saw her children she said excitedly, (in Spanish) "Mom, did you see that lady? Her kids are so cute! They look just like monkeys."
"Be quiet, girl!" (Callajete, muchacha!)
"Why? It's true. They look just like monkeys. They are so cute. I want my kids to look just like monkeys."
One day in the Yuma Apostolic Church a lady with three sons came to visit the church. When Suzie saw her children she said excitedly, (in Spanish) "Mom, did you see that lady? Her kids are so cute! They look just like monkeys."
"Be quiet, girl!" (Callajete, muchacha!)
"Why? It's true. They look just like monkeys. They are so cute. I want my kids to look just like monkeys."
Friday, May 28, 2010
Francisco and Practical Jokes by Mia
The following stories I tell because I think they reflect the relationship between the men in the family quite well (my opinion). Although most of his sons were jokers and played jokes on him, I cannot recall Rodrigo or Abel playing a trick on my Dad. However, if you do know of one, please feel free to add it....it'll only take...mmm....what....ten minutes of your time. Anyway, to be honest, Abel was a joker, but he was sneaky and really hard to catch in the act. The others: Ish, Steve, and Sergio loved to display, shall I call it a "rare talent", of jokes on my poor unsuspecting father. Remember these stories are from my memory vault. Enjoy!
MY BIG BROTHER ISH:
This story takes place in Yuma. The players are Dad, Mom and Ish. I was the observer. Ish had come down to visit from Phoenix. He was staying for the weekend. This was long before he was married or a father of his own. My mother, as you may already know, was ALWAYS on top of her housework. Everything was in it's place and everything had a place of it's own. If there was a race for home cleanliness, Mom would most definitely be at the front of it. Never was there a speck of something out of place or mess or anything to that nature. Nothing escaped her fastidious eye. To say she was diligent in her housekeeping was to say the sun would rise again tomorrow. Are you getting the picture? Oh, in today's terms, you could say she was a bit OCD.
Enter into the scene one joker, named Ish. He tried his joke on Mom, but it FAILED. They could NEVER get Mom. Here's a brief description of the joke: In our hallway was a long plastic runner. On one side it was smooth, and the other side had little triangular pokes that would embed themselves into the carpet. They were meant to keep the carpet from moving. (See: www.shoplet.com and search floor vinyl runner for a visual)
What did he do? He flipped it over hoping to catch some poor soul walking without shoes.
Mom caught it and said to herself, "Who did this?" Then she fixed it, of course. He came back into the house (for he ran outside to avoid suspicion) to flip it over again, and ran outside again. Out came Dad and walked right into the trap. Up he flew into the air, and came crashing to the ground with a thud and a moan. Once on his side, he began to rub his injured feet, and laid into my poor Mom. He told her she needed to pay more attention to what she was doing around the house because it never crossed his mind Ish would have done this to him.
Ish was outside laughing while seated on a chair/his alibi. His body shaking with the laughter he was trying to suppress inside. The scolding continued. Mom defended herself by saying she had found it turned and fixed it. I was just watching it all. Yes, I was laughing. It was funny. Mom put on her "detective eye" and began to investigate the scene. She came in the living room and saw me sitting there with a craft. Gave me a look to unsettle me, but she could tell I had nothing to do with it. She saw Ish sitting casually outside, but noticed something odd about his body movement. He was laughing.
"You! " she said, "You flipped the floor mat." He could no longer hold it in and began to laugh loudly. She went back to Dad and told him it was Ish. He came inside and confessed. After that Dad laughed.
MY BIG BROTHER STEVE:
The cast/players in this joke: Steve, Dad and Mom. Again I am the observer of all of the events or you might think I am an accomplice since I am privy to the jokes. What does it matter? The boys were the jokers! This story like the latter takes place in Yuma, and Steve is home from Phoenix visiting on the weekend. Mom had just finished using her old large red Kirby vacuum. (See: www.137.com/kirby/)
She left the living room for a moment. It was standing upright next to Steve when she got back into the room. He, like Ish, tried the joke on Mom first, but, like Ish, he FAILED.
Here's the joke:
He put his foot onto the Kirby's lever (can't remember what lever), and moved it. As it moved the vacuum let out a large cracking sound. While he was pushing the lever, he pretended to crack his neck by moving his head with his two hands.
Mom wasn't falling for it. I laughed at his joke and was disappointed with him about not tricking her. He said, "I know. I'll get Dad." He asked Mom to get him into the room, but she would not be a part of it. Yet, she did not leave the room. She wanted to see how Dad reacted to the practical joke. She may deny it now, but I know her better. So, I was asked to get Dad. I told him Steve wanted to talk to him.
Dad came into the living room. Steve started talking to him, but stopped and complained about his neck. "I think I need to crack it," he said. With foot on the Kirby, he began to move his head to the left and right as the machine emitted it's loud noise. Dad flipped!
"No, no, Hijo! You are going to hurt yourself!!!" He tried to stop him, but Steve said he needed to do it again. Dad shook his head, either in disbelief he was doing it again or worry he would hurt himself. He couldn't understand why we (Mom and I) were laughing. Steve was not laughing, he was sporting his poker face. He told us it was not funny, and we responded by laughing even more. Finally, Steve let him in on the joke. Dad just shook his head, and laughed.
MY BIG BROTHER SERGIO:
Cast: Sergio, Mom, Suzie, Tonie, Dad and me.
Place: Yuma house after a New Year's Eve Apostolic Church Service
When we were little the church in Yuma had a tradition to hold New Year's Eve Services. We would stay in church to ring in the new year. Once church let out we'd walk over to the Comidor/Kitchen to eat menudo/posole (spelling is wrong-I know!), tamales, or whatever was made by the Dorcas (Ladies Auxiliary) of the church. We would get home around 1:00ish in the morning, but no later than 2 A.M.
Since Dad would stay and do minister stuff or talk to friends at church, we drove home in Mom's car. As we were walking out of the car Sergio met us. He had stayed home because he did not want to go to church that night. (Sorry, but no hint about the joke will be given since I in on the joke before and now the joke was being played on me too.)
We drove up to the house, and it was dark. We thought Sergio was in bed or in the back room watching television. As we walked through the metal gate, he came running out the front door yelling and shooting his gun into the air (Shannon's Law was not enacted at that time). All of us, his sisters, jumped and screamed in fear, but mother did not. He was disappointed.
He knew (like we all knew) Dad would be coming home soon. We all waited to hear his truck coming down the street, and by "we" I mean Mom too. She may deny it now, but she was watching. She was telling him not to do it, but she still watched for Dad. We also told him not do it, but like Mom we were laughing and hoping he would get Dad. Oh, and Mom was laughing too. Sergio was sitting on the porch in the darkness. When Dad walked towards the fence Sergio hollered and shot the gun into the air. Dad jumped so high he jumped right over the metal fence. Dad got upset at first (who wouldn't), but later he was laughing about it.
MY BIG BROTHER ISH:
This story takes place in Yuma. The players are Dad, Mom and Ish. I was the observer. Ish had come down to visit from Phoenix. He was staying for the weekend. This was long before he was married or a father of his own. My mother, as you may already know, was ALWAYS on top of her housework. Everything was in it's place and everything had a place of it's own. If there was a race for home cleanliness, Mom would most definitely be at the front of it. Never was there a speck of something out of place or mess or anything to that nature. Nothing escaped her fastidious eye. To say she was diligent in her housekeeping was to say the sun would rise again tomorrow. Are you getting the picture? Oh, in today's terms, you could say she was a bit OCD.
Enter into the scene one joker, named Ish. He tried his joke on Mom, but it FAILED. They could NEVER get Mom. Here's a brief description of the joke: In our hallway was a long plastic runner. On one side it was smooth, and the other side had little triangular pokes that would embed themselves into the carpet. They were meant to keep the carpet from moving. (See: www.shoplet.com and search floor vinyl runner for a visual)
What did he do? He flipped it over hoping to catch some poor soul walking without shoes.
Mom caught it and said to herself, "Who did this?" Then she fixed it, of course. He came back into the house (for he ran outside to avoid suspicion) to flip it over again, and ran outside again. Out came Dad and walked right into the trap. Up he flew into the air, and came crashing to the ground with a thud and a moan. Once on his side, he began to rub his injured feet, and laid into my poor Mom. He told her she needed to pay more attention to what she was doing around the house because it never crossed his mind Ish would have done this to him.
Ish was outside laughing while seated on a chair/his alibi. His body shaking with the laughter he was trying to suppress inside. The scolding continued. Mom defended herself by saying she had found it turned and fixed it. I was just watching it all. Yes, I was laughing. It was funny. Mom put on her "detective eye" and began to investigate the scene. She came in the living room and saw me sitting there with a craft. Gave me a look to unsettle me, but she could tell I had nothing to do with it. She saw Ish sitting casually outside, but noticed something odd about his body movement. He was laughing.
"You! " she said, "You flipped the floor mat." He could no longer hold it in and began to laugh loudly. She went back to Dad and told him it was Ish. He came inside and confessed. After that Dad laughed.
MY BIG BROTHER STEVE:
The cast/players in this joke: Steve, Dad and Mom. Again I am the observer of all of the events or you might think I am an accomplice since I am privy to the jokes. What does it matter? The boys were the jokers! This story like the latter takes place in Yuma, and Steve is home from Phoenix visiting on the weekend. Mom had just finished using her old large red Kirby vacuum. (See: www.137.com/kirby/)
She left the living room for a moment. It was standing upright next to Steve when she got back into the room. He, like Ish, tried the joke on Mom first, but, like Ish, he FAILED.
Here's the joke:
He put his foot onto the Kirby's lever (can't remember what lever), and moved it. As it moved the vacuum let out a large cracking sound. While he was pushing the lever, he pretended to crack his neck by moving his head with his two hands.
Mom wasn't falling for it. I laughed at his joke and was disappointed with him about not tricking her. He said, "I know. I'll get Dad." He asked Mom to get him into the room, but she would not be a part of it. Yet, she did not leave the room. She wanted to see how Dad reacted to the practical joke. She may deny it now, but I know her better. So, I was asked to get Dad. I told him Steve wanted to talk to him.
Dad came into the living room. Steve started talking to him, but stopped and complained about his neck. "I think I need to crack it," he said. With foot on the Kirby, he began to move his head to the left and right as the machine emitted it's loud noise. Dad flipped!
"No, no, Hijo! You are going to hurt yourself!!!" He tried to stop him, but Steve said he needed to do it again. Dad shook his head, either in disbelief he was doing it again or worry he would hurt himself. He couldn't understand why we (Mom and I) were laughing. Steve was not laughing, he was sporting his poker face. He told us it was not funny, and we responded by laughing even more. Finally, Steve let him in on the joke. Dad just shook his head, and laughed.
MY BIG BROTHER SERGIO:
Cast: Sergio, Mom, Suzie, Tonie, Dad and me.
Place: Yuma house after a New Year's Eve Apostolic Church Service
When we were little the church in Yuma had a tradition to hold New Year's Eve Services. We would stay in church to ring in the new year. Once church let out we'd walk over to the Comidor/Kitchen to eat menudo/posole (spelling is wrong-I know!), tamales, or whatever was made by the Dorcas (Ladies Auxiliary) of the church. We would get home around 1:00ish in the morning, but no later than 2 A.M.
Since Dad would stay and do minister stuff or talk to friends at church, we drove home in Mom's car. As we were walking out of the car Sergio met us. He had stayed home because he did not want to go to church that night. (Sorry, but no hint about the joke will be given since I in on the joke before and now the joke was being played on me too.)
We drove up to the house, and it was dark. We thought Sergio was in bed or in the back room watching television. As we walked through the metal gate, he came running out the front door yelling and shooting his gun into the air (Shannon's Law was not enacted at that time). All of us, his sisters, jumped and screamed in fear, but mother did not. He was disappointed.
He knew (like we all knew) Dad would be coming home soon. We all waited to hear his truck coming down the street, and by "we" I mean Mom too. She may deny it now, but she was watching. She was telling him not to do it, but she still watched for Dad. We also told him not do it, but like Mom we were laughing and hoping he would get Dad. Oh, and Mom was laughing too. Sergio was sitting on the porch in the darkness. When Dad walked towards the fence Sergio hollered and shot the gun into the air. Dad jumped so high he jumped right over the metal fence. Dad got upset at first (who wouldn't), but later he was laughing about it.
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