Memories of My Oldest Sister by M. Lowry

I have few memories of my childhood that my mind is able to retain these days. I do, however, remember some of the events very clearly. I remember Suzie as a tough "don't mess with me!" type of character, yet this was a facade to hide the fact her heart was quite soft. She loved monkeys. Suzie really wanted a pet monkey, and I would often hear her ask our mother if she could have one for a pet. To which Mom's reply was always in the negative, but this did not deter Suzie from wanting a monkey or asking for one.



There are two words that I can use to describe her: competitive and tenacious (some may call it stubborn, but it is a good kind of stubborn). If you ever wanted to stay as the number one player or winner of a game; then the advice you should remember is this: "Never teach Suzie how to play it." She will learn it, master it and win at any cost (sometimes she may occasionally resort to cheating).

She was a tough customer. There were three of us girls in the house. Suzie or Mary would gang up on me or Suzie and I would gang up on Mary. But you'd never, ever see Mary and Kiki gang up on Suzie. That was just asking for trouble.

She liked wearing pants and shorts. She said, "When I have kids I am going to have a little girl. We are going to wear matching sweatpants wherever we go." She was a good big sister and always look out for us. Although sometimes she liked to pretend she did not enjoy it, and maybe sometimes she wasn't pretending. Like the time she told me to cross the street or she'd beat me up; then a car hit me. Or the time she vacuumed my hair because she was mad that she had to vacuum the living room. Part of me was happy this happened because I wanted my hair cut, but it backfired on me. My Mom was able to get all my hair out of the vacuum, and I had a sore neck for a day.

She always had and still has a book in her hand. I owe my love of reading to her. Some children are blessed to have parents read to them at bedtime. I did not get this growing up. However, I was blessed to have a sister read books to us. She read a few books, but the one I remember was Charlotte's Web. I remember how her face got funny when Charlotte was dying, and she abruptly announced that that was the end of reading for tonight. Of course we complained because we couldn't go to bed with such an unhappy chapter, but Suzie never wanted to let us see her tender heart.


I remember how mixed up I was over the idea of her getting married. I wanted my own room, but I thought I would never see her again if she got married. Plus, I was a bit anti-marriage, other than getting to dress up and be Cinderella for a day. I thought marriage was good one day and then I thought it was terrible the next. So, the idea of my big sister taking the plunge into marriage was a good and bad thing. I can still remember how beautiful she looked that day. I remember how proud my parents were of her and how happy their were to walk her down the aisle. It was a very nice wedding. It was bittersweet to come home and not have her there. I thought Chuck seemed nice enough to be married to Suzie, and he seemed crazy about her, but he was still taking her away. As the years went by, you could not say Suzie without saying Chuck. It was always, "Chuck and Suzie this... or Chuck and Suzie that..." As if they were never one without the other or as if they were never single, but married from birth or something strange like that.


I can still see how happy she was when she came to tell Mom and Dad that she and Chuck were pregnant. It seemed to me as if they did not want any children. Suzie never played with dolls; so, I never suspected she wanted children. How happy she and Chuck were at the news of her having a baby! I was so excited for them! I was a little shocked because I was sure they never wanted children. Plus, I couldn't get over the fact of Suzie, my sister, Suzie who never liked dolls was going to be a Mommy?!

I still remember how she fought to bring this little baby boy into the world. Tonie describe terribly (this is why I chose a birth center). She had a hard time and then they had to rush her into surgery to bring Zaq into the world. I remember being angry at the doctors because she was the last of us to see this baby. I wanted Chuck to hide Zaq and let Suzie be the first to see him. It did not seem fair to me. Suzie's body was warped, changed, she suffered morning sickness, the horrible birth experience and did not get to see her son right after he came out of her. I was mad! I would not look at Zaq because I wanted Suzie to see him first, but then my Mom talked me into taking pictures for Suzie. She probably did it to keep me quiet because I kept voicing my opinions about how we should all not look at Zaq until Suzie saw him first. I can still remember her words to Chuck when they wheeled her out, "Chuck it hurt so bad. I have never felt pain like that before." What she endured at the hands of those physicians! It still makes me sick to my stomach to think of how they tortured her!

Then came her time to give birth to Ani. I was living with them at the time. I can still remember how she was sweeping the kitchen floor as she nonchalantly (like it was no big deal) announced she was pregnant. I was so excited for them! Another baby to be added to their family! Another niece or nephew for me to cherish and love. How blessed we were to have another baby in our family! She wanted me to know that they still wanted me to live there with them. Wow! Did she get put through the wringer with morning sickness! She had a scheduled c-section and was not put down completely. So, she was able to see her baby girl right away. Then came the nightly awakenings at 2 or 3 am. Ani had colic and she let the neighborhood know all about it. Nothing would comfort her and Suzie was such a good mother to that crying child. She had a good support system in the great guy she choose as a husband. I remember her telling me how tired they were that she or Chuck went into the closet instead of the kitchen.

Despite not playing with dolls as a child, Suzie is an excellent mother to her two children. They are good kids, and they really love their parents.

I remember how shocked I was that she wanted to be there for the birth of my first baby. She was really worried about my choice in using a midwife. However, despite her misgivings regarding my choice she still came. I can still see her face and tears as she saw my son coming into the world. This really freaked me out! Suzie NEVER cries. There must be something wrong with my son. Yet, it was because she got to witness her kid sister bring a new life into the world and truly, this is a miracle.

She was there for the birth of my second child, Celeste. She came rushing right over when I had my third child, Scarlett. I know that family is very important to my sister Suzie because when my family moved to North Carolina. She came to be with me on my last Saturday in Arizona.

I love my sister, Suzie. She has always been a good sister to me. I am so blessed to have her in my family. I know I am who am because of the part she took in my life.